Black Betty

I have told y’all before that music is a huge part of my life. For better or worse it has become an integral part of my kids lives whether by their choice or pure happenstance. When my kids were younger and riding in the car with me the song Black Betty came on, and I cranked it up. My kids started to sing the wrong words which is sometimes cute sometimes aggravating but this time it seemed perfect, listening to the kids yell from the backseat “ooh Aunt Betty, bam ba lam.”

I am lucky to have the family I do. My family has been so close my whole life that the line between cousins and siblings was often blurry, and sometimes nonexistent. When you grow up with cousins who were more like little sisters, then you end up with aunts that are a lot more like extra moms. My aunt Betty was one of these.

When I was growing up I spent more time at Aunt Betty’s than nearly anywhere else. Mama and aunt Betty made sure that Stacy and I spent a lot of time together because we were so close in age. Aunt Betty was a big influence in my love for music. I can remember riding around in her Trans-Am racing cars stop light to stop light, T-tops out, and listening to music way too loud.

Today doesn’t have those same great memories, doesn’t bring about the same smiles, it’s honestly something I wasn’t ready for and don’t know if I ever would be. Aunt Betty has been struggling health wise for a few years, she’s always been a fighter and has turned around situations that left even the Dr’s baffled. Her being alive today is honestly nothing short of a miracle.

I awoke this morning with several missed calls from my mama. She normally doesn’t call me early on Sunday because she knows from about 7 I’m setting up for church, so when I seen the calls I knew something was wrong. I called mama back immediately and got news that hit like a kick to the gut “we brought Aunt Betty to the hospital, and they’re not sure she’s going to make it through the day.” When I get to the hospital the room is already full and filling up faster. Aunt Betty is excited to see us and tells us all she loves us.

The rest of the day I sat watching the blanket, counting respirations, walking the hall to get my mind occupied, and praying the lord would keep her in his hands, and give us all the peace only he can provide. There has been so much loss in our family over the last decade that unfortunately it has become like second nature. Watching that blanket up and down, in and out, labored breath after labored breath. I know what to look for, what to listen for, and what to dread.

Sitting in that hospital I kept looking for peace, for comfort, for something to let me know that God was there, and that he was still working all things together for the good of his people. It took me a while to find it, to spot that one thing, when it was the biggest part of the day. I was sitting with MY family. I was sitting with some of the people who I hold most dear, who have the biggest piece of my heart. There were tears yes, but there was also laughter, smiles, hugs, and stories that I’ve lived, told, and heard. More than all of that, through all of that, or maybe because of all of that we all felt LOVE.

As I write this Aunt Betty is still holding on, she is trying to defy the Dr’s again. While I want her to hang around for a while I also want her to not be in pain, or struggle to breath, and I want her to be happy. So if you could find a minute to say a prayer we would appreciate it. Pray for healing, comfort, and peace.

I love y’all

Thank you.