Plans

I get a daily devotional email every morning. It comes in at 7:30 and always poses a question that makes you think. The question yesterday was “If failing is part of God’s plan, is it really failing?”. The answer is yes. You can think differently, and I will fervently explain to you where you’re wrong.

Failing may be part of the plan, it may lead to a great triumph, it may even lead to changing the world, but it’s still failure. Failure stings, burns, and aches right down to your very soul. It brings up feelings of regret, feelings of hurt, and stirs up this voice that constantly calls into question your worth as a person.

Failure we are told is good for you. “It’s not about how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get back up” while this may be true does getting knocked down stop hurting? Does failing ever stop making you feel like less of a person? Does failure ever become something that no longer has a mental affect on you? “You haven’t failed until you quit trying” ok fair enough but what about when you’re done trying? Because I’m done trying does that make me less of a person?

I know your plans are greater, I know your plans are for my good, I know your plans are not to harm me, but why must your plan require failing, why must it require so much hurt, why must it make me feel like giving up is the only option that makes sense? Failure comes in so many forms. Failed marriages, failed relationships, failing to get your job done, failing to be the person you are called to be, failing to fulfill your purpose here on this planet. Some failures are avoidable, and some are out of your control.

Lord I come to you today a broken man, a humble man, the shell of who you put me here to become. I long for your grace, for your mercy, and for your healing. Lord I want to feel your peace even through all my failures and I need to feel your strength as I struggle to be be the man I am called by you to be. Let me lead those who look to me down a righteous path and let me not stumble as there are other following my footsteps. Thank you for all that you’ve blessed me with and allow me guidance to be a good steward with my gifts. Thank you for Loving me when I don’t deserve it.

To anyone struggling, I feel your pain, I know your hurt, and I am here for you.

I love you.