bradglenn79

Going to start this one a little different. Paul, the disciple who brought the truth of Jesus to the gentiles, started churches and wrote letters to them. The letter Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus is chronicled in the book of Ephesians. In Ephesians 3:8 Paul writes “though I am the least deserving of all of God’s people, he graciously gave me the privilege of telling the gentiles of the endless treasures available to them in Christ.”

I was reminded this past week by one of my best friends that I’m not enough, I’m not worth it, none of us are. Through the Grace that God affords us we are enough, we are worth it, we are able, and most importantly we are loved. So now that we got that out of the way let’s focus on “What if.”

That question can be taken in so many different ways and can be in reference to so many different things. Some good, some bad, some that will leave you perplexed, and some that will leave you in tears.

What if I win the lottery? What if I lose it all? What if I make a positive impact on someone’s life? What if I’m forgotten as soon as I’m not here? The game of what if can be so challenging, so stressful, so undermining to your self confidence, but it can also be such a powerful tool for self reflection and finding your way.

Sometimes the what if can leave you in a puddle of tears with no answers at all. What if my aunt Betty had never had cancer? What if I had gotten to spend one more day listening to my uncle Bill play his guitar? What if I had gotten to hear Eddie laugh again? What if I had gotten to hug Jenny one more time? What if I had more time with aunt Joyce? What if I had gotten to watch JJ grow up? What if I got to hear Poppy tell me he was proud of me? How would these have changed my life? Would they have made me happier, or would it have made letting go that much harder?

Ok what if you’re the only Jesus people see? What if you’re the only Love someone will ever know? What if you’re the help that someone is praying for? What if you’re the answer to their prayers? What if God is depending on you to support, grow, love, be the arms holding and the feet moving his Bride, his church? What if the world we are living in, the world we want to be different is waiting on us to change it? How are we going to answer the call, how will we move the church, how will we spread the word, how will YOU love like Jesus?

I will start with answering the what if. By the grace of God I am enough, I am worthy, I am free, and I am Loved. I will allow God to use me to make a difference. What if God wants to use me to change the world, will you come with me?

I love you.

I can honestly say I am one of the luckiest people on this planet. I have a best friend who is also my grandma. Go on laugh it up, this guy just said his eighty year old grandma is his best friend. Before you laugh yourself silly let me tell you about one of the most amazing women you could ever meet.

My grandma has had let’s say a tumultuous life to say the least. She was one of seven kids born to a farming family just outside of Lumberton NC. They have very little growing up, they did have each other, love, and God.

Grandma married and had kids young. She started with my aunt Betty in 1958. The man she was married to was not a good person. He threatened, and tried to, kill my grandma more than once as well as all five of her kids. They even had to go into hiding to escape.

During her second marriage there was also times of discord. There was pain, there was sadness, and at one point there was even a gunshot wound. You read that right my grandma has been shot during a card game.

After all of this no one would blame anyone for being bitter, for hating the world. Grandma went the other way. She loves with her whole heart, she loves unconditionally, and she loves fully. She doesn’t have to agree with the way you live your life to love you. She understands that what you do isn’t who you are, she believes that everyone deserves to be loved.

I grew up living with grandma, or close to her. I was always in walking distance before I had a car and would see her multiple times a week after we had moved out of her house. No matter how bad I was, how aggravating, or even how mean I may have been she always loved me. Grandma taught me how to cook, sew, and crochet. She helped to raise me to be the man I am today, she helped to teach me the importance of kindness, caring, and Love.

It’s been a rough couple years for my grandma. She has lost three kids in the past two years, but she has never lost her faith. She has been in a dark place but she has had the light of God’s promises to keep her moving forward, and continuing to love us.

I struggle to be good enough, to be a person who I can be proud of, I struggle to be a person my grandma can be proud of. Even as I struggle she has never made me feel like I was less than.

I want to be remembered for the way I love all people, just the way Alice the Great has taught me to.

I love you.

I have told y’all before that music is a huge part of my life. For better or worse it has become an integral part of my kids lives whether by their choice or pure happenstance. When my kids were younger and riding in the car with me the song Black Betty came on, and I cranked it up. My kids started to sing the wrong words which is sometimes cute sometimes aggravating but this time it seemed perfect, listening to the kids yell from the backseat “ooh Aunt Betty, bam ba lam.”

I am lucky to have the family I do. My family has been so close my whole life that the line between cousins and siblings was often blurry, and sometimes nonexistent. When you grow up with cousins who were more like little sisters, then you end up with aunts that are a lot more like extra moms. My aunt Betty was one of these.

When I was growing up I spent more time at Aunt Betty’s than nearly anywhere else. Mama and aunt Betty made sure that Stacy and I spent a lot of time together because we were so close in age. Aunt Betty was a big influence in my love for music. I can remember riding around in her Trans-Am racing cars stop light to stop light, T-tops out, and listening to music way too loud.

Today doesn’t have those same great memories, doesn’t bring about the same smiles, it’s honestly something I wasn’t ready for and don’t know if I ever would be. Aunt Betty has been struggling health wise for a few years, she’s always been a fighter and has turned around situations that left even the Dr’s baffled. Her being alive today is honestly nothing short of a miracle.

I awoke this morning with several missed calls from my mama. She normally doesn’t call me early on Sunday because she knows from about 7 I’m setting up for church, so when I seen the calls I knew something was wrong. I called mama back immediately and got news that hit like a kick to the gut “we brought Aunt Betty to the hospital, and they’re not sure she’s going to make it through the day.” When I get to the hospital the room is already full and filling up faster. Aunt Betty is excited to see us and tells us all she loves us.

The rest of the day I sat watching the blanket, counting respirations, walking the hall to get my mind occupied, and praying the lord would keep her in his hands, and give us all the peace only he can provide. There has been so much loss in our family over the last decade that unfortunately it has become like second nature. Watching that blanket up and down, in and out, labored breath after labored breath. I know what to look for, what to listen for, and what to dread.

Sitting in that hospital I kept looking for peace, for comfort, for something to let me know that God was there, and that he was still working all things together for the good of his people. It took me a while to find it, to spot that one thing, when it was the biggest part of the day. I was sitting with MY family. I was sitting with some of the people who I hold most dear, who have the biggest piece of my heart. There were tears yes, but there was also laughter, smiles, hugs, and stories that I’ve lived, told, and heard. More than all of that, through all of that, or maybe because of all of that we all felt LOVE.

As I write this Aunt Betty is still holding on, she is trying to defy the Dr’s again. While I want her to hang around for a while I also want her to not be in pain, or struggle to breath, and I want her to be happy. So if you could find a minute to say a prayer we would appreciate it. Pray for healing, comfort, and peace.

I love y’all

Thank you.

My pastor has been asking “What if God wants to use you to change the city?” I want to know, What if God wants to use us to change the world, to bring heaven here, to love others simply because he loved us and that’s what we were made to do?

I have thought a lot about this question and it has led me to more questions. What kind of person would God have made, if he were making a world changer? What characteristics would he have given them, and how would they appear on the outside? If he was going to use someone to influence the entire world to change its views on him, on heaven, and most of all in Love who would they be?

Would he use someone who come from a poor family? Someone who suffered through shame, ridicule, and even food insecurity? Someone who was less concerned with what they were going to get to eat, and more concerned with how many days it would be until they could. Would he use someone who got their best clothes from a thrift store and their regular clothes from the trash? Would he use someone begging for change on the street, because the hunger pangs have eaten away at their dignity, while others walk by and judge?

Or maybe he would use someone who had life handed to them on a silver platter. Someone who lived in the nicest houses, drove the nicest cars, and was always dressed in outfits that cost as much as some made in a month. A person who never had to struggle to get everything they needed. An individual who goes on vacations to their house at the beach, or at the lake. Would he use someone who seems to have influence over the masses due to Instagram followers, Facebook friends, or thousands of retweets in the twittersphere?

Would it be possible for him to use someone like me? Someone who is rough, unpolished, and to some intimidating? Could he use someone who doesn’t have all the best words and sometimes allows curse words to be sprinkled throughout a conversation. Is there anyway he would use someone who people would consider heavily tattooed, with an obsession with riding his motorcycle, and an almost unhealthy love of guns?

I could continue to classify and categorize people, placing them into groups and asking the question “What If.” The simple fact is that no matter how many groups I find, no matter how many disqualifying traits I name, and no matter how good or bad you may think these people are I will always arrive at the same answer: Yes. Yes God is able to use the poor, Yes God can use the rich, and Yes God will use someone like me to change the world.

God doesn’t call the qualified, he qualifies the called (little secret) we are all Called to go spread the Love of Jesus Christ.

I love you.

I LOVE music. I couldn’t imagine a day without it. I listen to music on the bike, in the car, in my office, and in my head lol. I am currently trying to learn to play the guitar for about the tenth time and God help us all trying to learn to sing. As I have discussed many times before I lack musical talent but overflow with musical desire.

During the message at church yesterday something the pastor said caused a song to start to play in my head. This song has been on a loop now for pretty close to 24 hours. A band called The Clash released a song in 1982 called “Should I stay or should I go?” I am positive I didn’t know this song when I was three but sometime before now I learned it. I know and enjoy that song so it isn’t out of the norm for it to be rattling around in my head. The reason it is noteworthy is because of what started the loop.

You can’t stay and go. Five simple words that changed my outlook on a lot of things. We are told in the Bible so many stories of greatness brought about by following God’s commands. We overlook one of the main jobs as Christians though. We are called to GO and make disciples.

How can we go and make disciples when we are scared to get out of our comfort zone. In the Bible all of the stories of God blessing someone starts with God making them uncomfortable. My preacher used the example of God telling Abraham to leave all he knew and set out to a new land God had promised. If that isn’t God making you uncomfortable then it’s hard to imagine what is, well Abraham does. He was called to sacrifice his only son to God. If you don’t know the story it is in Genesis 22. God spared Isaac and blessed Abraham because he followed God.

Now this brings me back to me. I am no more than a simple man, I have no knowledge that is not attainable by everyone else, I truly am nothing special, so when God tells me to go why do I stay? Why do I think I know better, why do I lean on my own understanding, why do you do it? When God calls us to move he often doesn’t give us the plan, he doesn’t lay it out for us so we can see how it will end, he doesn’t show us the ending so we can decide if we want to go, but we should trust in the goodness of God to know we will be blessed, we will be loved, and we will be taken care of.

If we are to call ourselves Christians how can we sit still? We often asked God to guide our steps and then are afraid to move our feet. We ask God to bless us where we are when our greatest blessings are waiting for us where we are called to be. Change is scary but I’m even more scared of missing out on what God has planned for me. So should I stay or should I go? I’m going how about you go with me.

I love you.

There are so many different ways to look at what is owed. Depends on where you’re at in your situation, depends on who is asking, but it always depends on expectations. For example I get up out of my bed before daylight at least five days a week to go to work. For this I get a paycheck, my company pays me what is owed. By doing this I provide for my family, pay my bills, and occasionally have a little left over.

So what do we do when we feel what is owed isn’t what we’re getting? How do we handle ourselves when we feel like we are getting slighted? If my previous statement is correct and all you are owed is based on expectations then where are these expectations created?

Let’s start with my previous example, work pays you what is owed. In most cases this is an expectation agreed upon by you and your manager. You agree on how much you make, you agree on how much you work, and you agree on how often you’ll get a paycheck. Those are all very easy to quantify. So how do you handle yourself when you are unhappy with a part of that equation? Do you ask for a pay increase, if you don’t get it do you get angry, do you go as far as to change jobs? What changed your expectations? I can honestly say I have left a job over unmet expectations. I thought I was working too hard, for too long, to be making so little.

Let’s go to a more sensitive topic, relationships. Who sets the expectations there? How do you determine what is owed? Is it a money thing. “I paid the last three times, they owe me this time.” Or how about a respect thing. “How can my kids treat me this way they owe me respect.” Another one that you often hear is “after all I’ve done for them don’t they owe me the truth?” I’m not saying that any of these are wrong or that you’re expecting too much, what I am saying is does everyone know what’s expected?

No the hardest expectations to qualify, quantify, or meet; the ones you have placed on yourself. Where do these expectations come from? Are they from your desire of the things of this world, or are they from God? I have to admit most of my self imposed expectations are related to having more stuff. I know it isn’t right, I know it isn’t Godly, and I know those expectations will never be met. As long as you are chasing this world you will never be happy, never be satisfied, and your expectations will be just a seed of doubt that has been placed in your heart. You will see the unmet expectations as proof that you aren’t good enough, that you’ll never be enough, I know because I live my life there.

If I’m honest I don’t want what is owed. I am, to quote the Notorious BIG “born sinner, the opposite of a winner”. As a sinner what we are owed is death. Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is everlasting life through Christ Jesus our lord. Our salvation is paid for by the blood of Jesus not through any works of your own. It does however come with some expectations. You are expected first and foremost to Love God. The second part is where it gets a bit tricky. You are expected to Love All People, Always. No matter what is owed, no matter what expectations were not met, no matter how slighted you feel; love all people, always. Hardest part for me is the realization that I (you) are one of the all people, and no matter how many times you have let yourself down you have to love yourself always.

I love you.

I read something today that simply said “Once I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.” This quote finds me in an odd place. I have let go of what I am, I often feel that I have lost Brad, but I have never been consumed by the might be. Now of one thing I am sure, in life you have to let go.

First you have to let go of what is draining you. We all have something in our lives or maybe someone who came to mind when you read that last line. When you have to do said activity or interact with that person you just feel drained, you’re exhausted at the mere thought of it. You will expend energy trying to avoid the situation because you know it will only wreak havoc on your mental health.

You have to be willing to let go of the toxic. Toxic could mean something that is genuinely bad for your health like smoking or drugs. It could also mean something that is bad for your mind, your heart, or your soul. A lot of the time we get caught up in the toxic because of the way it makes us feel. I once heard someone say if sin doesn’t feel good you’re doing it wrong. Sin is so attractive to us because of the way it does make us feel at the moment, we never take into account the consequences.

We have to be able to let go of negativity. I know some people who no matter what have a problem for every solution. Always finding the bad even when floating in a sea of amazing. If you are that person you have to look past the black cloud impeding your view and find joy and hope in the promises of Jesus Christ. On your darkest day down in the valley he is with you like he was the day before on that mountain top.

One of the hardest for me is to let go of what doesn’t value you. The other day I saw a post that said “know your worth, and then add taxes”. I laughed when I read it but the more I think about it the more accurate it seems to be. You must know your worth, and you must separate yourself from those who don’t see it or just flat don’t value you. We are created in his image wonderfully created and are priceless in his eyes. If the creator of the universe thinks I’m priceless why would I believe any different, and more importantly why would I allow someone else to make me feel worthless.

Now I know if you’re anything like me when you let go of something you will have to put something in its place. That is one of my biggest character flaws, I will let go of one habit, or obsession, and immediately fill my time with the next one. I have an idea about how to make that happen in a more productive way. When you’re looking for your next obsession how about open your bible to the words King David wrote in Psalm 63:8 I cling to you; your right hand upholds me.

I guess the purpose of this is to say let go of, not who you are, but of who people say you are, and become consumed not in the what might be but in what God has already told you that you are.

I love you.

As we move through June, we transition from spring into summer. We go from the more mild temperatures, the pollen, and the rain into the sun, the time off, and the summertime thunderstorms that seem to come from no where and cleanse my mind. For me I’m hoping this is a change in season too.

In Mark 9:23-24 Jesus said to him “if you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes”. Immediately the father of the child cried out with tears “Lord, I believe; help me with my unbelief!” This was in reference to casting out an evil spirit from his child. These people had seen the miracles Jesus had performed, yet he still needed help with his unbelief.

I’m going to have to pause right here and take a second to thank my Pastor. Jeff always seems to preach right to me and Sunday was no different. He preached about that story yesterday and stepped on my toes. I have been stuck in a season of unbelief. I struggle to see how God could use me for good, can’t wrap my head around my purpose in his plan, and don’t know how I could be made in his image when I know what I have done. When Jeff was preaching he gave four reason we get stuck in unbelief and I realized I have not only fallen victim to all of them but some I placed in the path myself.

His first point hit me real hard. We stay stuck in unbelief because of the Naysayers. This one is so very true for me. There have been so many people in my life tell me what I couldn’t do, tell me I wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough, that I was too broken, that I was too damaged, even that God wouldn’t use someone with all my problems. I heard this stuff so much that I started to not only agree with what they said but came up with new reasons I was worthless, after all I knew all of the things I had done in my life the little good and lotta bad.

Next he told us we get stuck because we let obstacles get in the way. He was two for two at this point. I had let obstacles come between me and God some I felt were out of my control, others I had placed there. When I feel like God is leading me somewhere I am scared to go I will place stumbling blocks in the way. I will have all kinds of reasons I can’t get to where God tells me I’m supposed to be.

Then it was distractions. This one is the one I have the hardest time with. I have always struggled with paying attention my entire life. I have a short attention span, often changing focus, changing direction, or changing goals without so much as a warning. It made school difficult, work hard, and following Jesus almost impossible. I would be distracted by Saturday night and not feel like making it in Sunday morning. I would get distracted by something that happened, something that drew my focus for a second could cause me to look away from Jesus and did cause me to walk away from Church.

He ended with lack of prayer. I pray a lot. Sometimes I just say thank you for all that I have been blessed with and all that has been entrusted to me. More often than not I pray when I need something, want something, or something has me worried. My problem with prayer is when I ask God for direction I ask him which way to turn, then I don’t listen when he tells me. I will listen to the naysayers who tell me I can’t, I will see the seemingly insurmountable obstacles in the way, and I get distracted by the more attractive options because I’m not looking at the whole picture.

So how do we move past these things and change our season? When the naysayers start remember what God says about you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. When you encounter an obstacle on your path remember that Jesus said “all things are possible to those who believe”. When you start to get distracted focus your eyes on the love of God and the everlasting life promised to those who follow him. Last but certainly not least pray without ceasing. Thank him for all that he’s done, all he will do, and everything he is.

Here’s to a change of season! I love you!

We are told so many different lies during our life. We can control what we believe and how we handle it. It gets really tricky when the lies are from people you trust, people that want the best for you, and most importantly are things you want to believe.

The one that sticks out the most and the one I have had stuck in my head is one I have heard over and over, from so many people. “God will never give you more than you can handle”. That is most definitely a lie. I have had a huge heaping helping of more than I can handle. Just when I think I have it whittled down to a manageable portion here comes the dump truck with the next load.

I know I’m not different than any of you, I know I don’t suffer through anymore than you do, and I’m most certainly not trying to start a pity party telling you how bad I have it. From the outside looking in I have it pretty good. I have a good job that pays my bills, I have a family that loves me, I have friends that care about me, and I am, apart from being overweight, very healthy.

I think what I am trying to accomplish is helping me, and maybe a few others to understand is that God most certainly will give you more than you can handle. He will allow you to be in a place where you see no light, you see no escape, maybe you don’t even see any hope. He doesn’t put you there because he doesn’t love you it’s the exact opposite. God allows us to fall into those pits so when we are looking for light we look to him. God will give you more than you can handle daily, what he won’t do is give you more than he can handle, and more importantly he won’t leave you alone to deal with it.

Every time you’re struggling, at the end of your rope, just trying to make it through one more day, and feeling like you are at the bottom of a big ‘ol steamin pile of more than you can handle, look to God. Let God give you strength, lean on his wisdom and not your own, and move is his direction, because that’s where our refuge is found.

As we struggle with day to day life never forget you’re not in this life alone. We are to love our God with all of our heart, with all of our mind, with all of our strength, and with all of our soul. Never forget the second command is like the first to love your brother as you do yourself.

I don’t know who this is for but call and tell them you love them. They need it and so do you.

I love you.

How could I ever expect greatness or even mediocrity from someone like me? How could I achieve the goals I have set for myself? How dare I desire the American dream? I’m only Brad.

I’m only the product of a broken marriage. My parents split up when I was two. They both love me very much, but how can anything positive come from that?

I’m only a kid that grew up with all that I needed, but comfortably below the poverty line. How could I make it in this world when I grew up in a 500 dollar trailer?

I’m only a high school graduate. School wasn’t my thing, I didn’t try, I didn’t care, and I didn’t want to be there most days. You can’t make it these days without higher education. How was I going to get by?

We could go through these “I’m only” statements all day, and everyone would be factual. I’m only a son, I’m only a brother, I’m only a husband, I’m only a father, I’m only an uncle, I’m only a cousin, and on and on. While they are not all bad not one of them makes up all of me. Not one of them defines me.

I’m only a sinner who falls short of the grace of God every single day.

I’m only redeemed by the blood of our savior that was shed on the cross when he died for you and I.

I’m only a Child of God.

I’m only a Child of God.

I’m only a Child of God.

When you fall into your I’m only, never forget who created you, who loves you, and who your father is. You’re only a Child of the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords and the creator of the universe. You’re only his most prized possession.

No matter how bad your I’m only is remember in Matthew 19:26 Jesus said “For man it is impossible, but with God all things are possible”.

I love you.