I really considered calling this finding the mess, I didn’t figure any of you needed help with that though. If you have read my blog even once you know I am nothing if not transparent. Today is not a day unlike everyone before.
I often struggle with finding a purpose, with finding a reason, but I never struggle with finding a fault. The thing I am working on now is finding a message in all of my mess. I am looking for a way to find joy in the journey. Maybe to find solace in the struggle.
Today that desire that yearning landed me in the book of Psalms. Psalm 118:5 King David writes “in my distress I prayed to the Lord, the Lord answered me and set me free.” I honestly don’t think that I could’ve landed in a better spot today. He goes on to say in another verse that the lord is for him why should he worry about what mere man can do.
I know sometimes even through prayer that dark hole seems to be a never ending chasm. It is an abyss that we feel no light could penetrate. What we fail to take into account is the part we play in all of it. When David asks why would he fear what a mere man can do, how many of you know he wasn’t talking about himself? Now I don’t know for a fact who he was speaking of but I know when I read it who I thought about. You know what, it didn’t take long to find that person either, he was looking at me from a mirror.
We as Christians and even some unbelievers will pray when in distress, some of us will pray when things seem good, then there are the great Christians who follow the Bible a pray without ceasing. I pray a lot, especially for a “new” Christian but still not as much as I should. The part where I fall down is remembering to listen for God’s answer, that sometimes booming, sometimes tiny voice, or the feeling you just can’t shake. Since I don’t listen for God’s answer I miss the most important part the part where God sets you free.
As a Christian we all learn to “let go and let God.” As a human, a man, a fixer, etc. I have the hardest time letting go. I struggle with giving it to God and trusting that it’s being handled, because I don’t listen for his answer. I was told if you’ve never doubted God, then you’ve never trusted God. I will grab the bull by the horns and attempt to take care of things that are so far beyond my capacity, but are possible with faith smaller than a mustard seed.
Coming to the end of today I really don’t have an answer, or a direction. All I can say is that when we are in the abyss, in that dark pit of despair remember that God is with you, and the darkness must flee at the sheer mention of his name.
Keep praying, keep listening, keep moving, and keep loving.
I love you.
bradglenn79 