Peace

The lord gives his people strength. The lord blesses them with peace. That’s what psalms says. It’s right there in the Bible. I know the Bible is our instruction book for life and he has answered all of our questions if we are just willing to go look.

There is no doubt that the lord has given me strength throughout the years, both physical and emotional. I seem to always have just enough strength to get through everything as long as I have his help. I have been through times when emotionally I was not prepared, I was not qualified for the test that was put in front of me. Watching one of the greatest men you’ve ever known, a man that loved you because he wanted to not because he had to, a man who found Jesus after a traumatic time but understood that God was the only reason he was alive, watching him take his last breath as I held his hand. I was not qualified for that I don’t think you ever really are, but through that I had strength. I was able to be there for the ones who needed me most in that time.

My heart aches at this next point though, what about peace? I have been through so much in this life. I have had the strength to get through it and the faith to know I was going to be better on the other side. In a lot of situations in my life I have made it through, grown, learned, moved forward, but have never been at peace with. There is still a little seed in there that continues to grow and this breeds worry, unease, contempt, and discord. This leaves me in a bad situation, because even though I made it through it something still just doesn’t sit right with me. There is still a shortcoming, there is still something left undone, like just waiting for “the other shoe to drop”.

I think I have come to a better place with this now. I have prayed about it, asked for guidance, asked for patience, and asked for forgiveness. The lord blesses them with peace. I think I have come to the understanding that the lord blesses us with peace in the things he has sent us. I think that peace comes in knowing that what has been laid in front of you, you have gotten over, around, or through by the grace of God alone. I don’t think there will be peace in every decision you make, if the decisions you make are for your own selfish desires. I think we will always find peace in our life as long as we continue to try to be more like him.

I love you.