When I am left alone with my thoughts I always learn something or figure something out. Sometimes it’s painful realizations. Other times it is actually good. But there is always something.
As I sit alone today the feeling I am struggling with now is the feeling of not being good enough. This is a feeling that I have struggled with my entire life. When I was in school I never felt like I was smart enough. My grades weren’t good enough. Then came athletics. I wasn’t fast enough. I wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t aggressive enough. After all of that then adulthood started. With work I am not smart enough. I’m not qualified enough. I don’t get enough done. Then outside of work, I don’t provide enough. I don’t spend enough time with my family. I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough. I’M NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!
This is a feeling that I don’t wish on anyone. It is one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. On the good side it has given me a drive to do better. It has given me the feeling of never being satisfied. If I am never good enough then nothing is ever good enough for me. I keep pushing through fighting scratching and clawing to get more to have more to be more. I have always had people in my corner who meant the very best but always made me feel like I shouldn’t be happy with my accomplishments and I needed to always be better and do more. This was helpful because I always keep pushing but it is detrimental as well because no matter what, it leaves me feeling like I am not good enough even though I do my very best.
What I know is that for the right people you ARE good enough exactly how you are. You are smart enough you are strong enough, you love enough, and ultimately you are enough. No matter what today brings do your best, be the best you that you can be, and you will never have to worry about being Less Than! Always remember you are loved because I love you.
bradglenn79 